The Craft of Spiritual Conversation
In 1546 Ignatius wrote instructions for three men he was sending on mission. The ten points below are from this letter and in his own words.
1 Be slow to speak. Be considerate and kind on matters discussed. Be slow to speak. Be considerate and kind, especially when it comes to deciding on matters under discussion, or about to be discussed.
2 Listen quietly, understand the other. Learn when to speak or be silent. Be slow to speak, and only after having first listened quietly, so that you may understand the meaning, leanings, and wishes of those who do speak. Thus you will better know when to speak and when to be silent.
3 Be free of attachment to your own opinion. In discussion, I should consider the reasons on both sides without showing any attachment to my own opinion, and try to avoid bringing dissatisfaction to anyone.
4 Do not cite authorities. Deal with everyone equally. I should not cite anyone as supporting my opinion… and I would deal with everyone on an equal basis, never taking sides with anyone.
5 In giving your opinion, speak with humility and sincerity. If you ought not to be silent, then give your opinion with the greatest possible humility and sincerity, and always end with the words with due respect for a better opinion.
6 About time. If I have something to say, it will be of great help to forget about my own leisure or lack of time—that is, my own convenience. I should rather accommodate myself to the convenience of him or her with whom I am to deal so that I may influence him or her to God’s greater glory.
7 Adapt yourself to others. Consider their temperaments and adapt yourselves to them. If they are of a lively temper, quick and cheerful in speech, follow their lead while speaking to them of good and holy things, and do not be serious, glum, and reserved. If they are shy and retiring, slow to speak, serious, and weighty in their words, use the same manner with them, because such ways will be pleasing to them.
8 Ask the Spirit to descend with abundant gifts. Pray and lead others to pray particularly to God our Lord to deign to send forth his Holy Spirit on all who take part in the discussions so that the Holy Spirit may descend in greater abundance with his grace and gifts upon the (conversations).
9 Awaken knowledge and love in souls. Awaken in souls a thorough knowledge of themselves and a love of their Creator and Lord.
10 Open people to God’s grace. It will be helpful to lead people, as far as possible, to open themselves to God’s grace, exhorting them to a desire for salvation, to prayer, to alms and to everything that conduces to receiving grace or increasing it. This will be effected by good example, by friendly contact through the Exercises and spiritual conversation.
